The hardest part about saying goodbye this time was the fact that I wasn’t the one leaving. I’ve always been the one leaving, of the two of us, and he’s always stayed–both in New Zealand at back in the States. And now this time, I was the one staying, and there’s nothing sadder than staying. The truth was, with the exception of just a few moments of watery eyes last night, both of us were too excited to be sad. I’ll be home in three weeks, and Dennis is leaving Brazil to go do film work in New York. There’s such good stuff for both of us on the horizon that it seemed kind of ridiculous to be wallowing in self-pity and lonliness.
I won’t lie, though. When I came back home at 5:45 this morning from dropping him off at the airport, and just in time to get another hour of sleep, it felt like my apartment was much larger than it had been just hours earlier. Dennis’ presence over the past two months had filled up every corner, along with his socks and water bottles and whatnot. So when I opened the door this morning, and when I saw my own computer plugged into the outlet rather than his, and didn’t trip over his sneakers, a little part of me crumpled, I crawled into bed with my camera, looked at the picture we’d taken while standing in the line for him to check in, and fell asleep.
But today’s weather is excellent and although it’s cold, the sky is bright blue and the sun is warming up patches of ground and I know it is a good day for flying. He will make it back to the States tomorrow morning, after four flights and a hotel room in Miami (his idea of saving money is to take four flights between Brazil and New York. I don’t blame him, especially since time is not of the essence. It was a good deal, but for thirty hours of traveling I don’t know if I’d do it myself.)
Tonight I plan to get reacquainted with my apartment. Lots of cleaning and folding laundry and reconfiguring how I move about the space now that there is more space to move around in. It’ll be interesting to remember how I spent my time here before Dennis arrived, and I anticipate I’ll be a little bored. But it’s only three weeks away, now. Three weeks exactly ’til I’ll be back at the airport boarding the plane home.