The flame that burned my nuggets.

2 08 2007

Before the flame, originally uploaded by Gina Coggio.

All too concerned with the blogging of this particular photo, this one here with the Nuggets, I lost all clarity of thought and lit my stove on fire, burning two nuggets in the process, and making their aftertaste reminiscent of firewood with a hint of kerosene.

You may be wondering why this Nuggets Frango box had me in such a tizzy. It’s because of the labeling. Is it possible to have “New Traditional?” This is not a new brand; I’ve been eating their nuggets for a year now. What about the New Traditional nuggets are actually new? So there I was, thinking about the old and the new, and I threw six little nuggets into a pan that had oil boiling away in it. Did you know oil could boil? Because I had that exact revelation just as I witnessed a flame the length of my leg leap up into the kitchen sky enveloping my nuggets in a wall of fire. Do you know what I did? I hid from it. I crouched down and hid from the flame. Not like I protected myself, mind you. Not like I put my hands up in front of my face to protect myself from the heat. No, I crouched to the side, face wide and in clear range of any popping oil-meets-fire bombs and I hid. As if I were trying to surprise the flame as it walked innocently around a corner. “Boo!”

And so, after it was all said and done and the flame ate itself and the outside layer of two nuggets, I vowed to take it easy on the thinking-while-cooking over a gas stove.

After the flame, originally uploaded by Gina Coggio.





6 responses

2 08 2007

This just proves you’re a disaster while inside a kitchen…

2 08 2007

Yes. Thank you for making that blatantly obvious. And, might I add, it is an excellent excuse never to have to cook for Dennis or anyone else ever again.

2 08 2007

Wow, that SO reminded me of like two days ago, when my sister was making this popcorn that was supposed to be made in a pan, and her friend just taught her this trick, you put the oil in the pan, and put a match stick, when the match stick fires up, take it off and the oil is ready… BIG mistake. My sister accidently placed a used match into the pan, we waited for some minutes and she put another one. When she did, the match lit a little, and when she was gonna take both matches out, this blast of fire soared up to the ceiling, my sister and I were SO scared, she got this cup of water and threw it inside the pan, this cloud of smoke contamintaed the air, and when we looked forward we could hardly see ourselves, then came the oil, oh… the oil. When my sister was turning off the stove or oven or whatever, the oil of the pan was spilling out of the pan everywhere, my sister started to scream because something hit her near the eye, and we ran away, we left the oil for it to commit suicide in peace, I was lucky I had glasses on, since when I looked at the lens, it had one drop of oil in the middle, and if I wasn’t wearing the glasses, my pupil would have been the victim of terrible pain. It was pretty terrifying.

I think what they mean by “New Traditional” is that the package is of new style or new material or whatever, it’s just a coincidence that it was placed above the “Traditional” flavor… I guess.

2 08 2007

You BURNED nuggets? You’re weird. Why don’t you use the oven anyway? It’s easier.

And Ms.C, it was a tiny little accident (that could’ve burned your hair, actually. Is your hair okay? Because I like your new hair, and I’m not sure I’ll like it as much if it’s burned). Anyone can cook if they REALLY want to. It’s pretty boring, though, so I don’t really see the point. Just order takeout. Because then you can go straight to the eating, which is really the funnest part.

2 08 2007

Thinking maybe I’ll skip on the chicken. Steak is sounding more appealing!

3 08 2007

Jake. Have no fears. When you’re here, we’ll be eating out.

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