Some words from Self about my new haircut.

24 10 2007

(Last night, 8pm.)

Self: Wow! Your hair!

Me: Yeah, I know.

Self: It looks fantastic! Where’d you get it done?

Me: Up the street at George’s.

Self: Did you get it colored? It looks darker.

Me: Yeah. Now it’s all the same color and not full of gold like the old stuff.

Self: Really. It looks great. I’m not even joking.

Me: Well, thanks. That’s a change.

Self: No, I mean it. You look really great. Even your smile is nicer.

Me: Hm. Thanks. Again. I really like it. My hair, I mean.

Self: Me too! Your hair is so nice and curly, too! I mean, big curls that make your hair so voluminous!

Me: I know. Yeah, I really like it.

Self: And you look thinner!

Me: Okay, well, thanks. That’s enough.

Self: So do you know how to style it for tomorrow?

Me: No, not really. I mean, I was looking at what he was doing, but I don’t have the right hair dryer or brush to do the same thing.

Self: Oh. [pause] So, what you’re saying is that you’re not going to look like this again.

Me: Well, basically, yeah.

Self: You should take a picture.

Me: Why would I do that?

Self: Because it looks so good now and you know it’ll look like crap tomorrow and every day after, so at least you can look back on one day and say you looked good.

Me: That was harsh, but I see where you’re going.

Self: I’ll get the camera. [calling from the other room:] Are you going to shower tomorrow?

Me: Um, yes. Why wouldn’t I?

Self: [still in the other room] Because I’ve heard that if you just sleep on a new haircut and don’t shower or anything it’ll still look pretty good the next day. [pause] Hey, you know your camera has ink all over it?

Me: Yeah [checking e-mail]. A pen exploded on it over the weekend in Rio. Damnit! The Internet’s down.

Self: I know, it’s been down all day. [coming back into room] So are you going to shower?

Me: I don’t know. If that’s true, maybe I won’t. He did wash it three times.

Self: So then the only thing that’ll be dirty is your body.

Me: Yeah, which is gross and I don’t want to go to school like that.

Self: But at least your hair will look good. Here’s your camera.

Me: Thanks. Can you take the picture?

Self: I was just about to go put on a movie. Take it yourself in the bathroom.
Freshly done, note the smile.

Me: [going into the living room] Here it is.

Self: You know your bra strap is showing?

Me: So?

Self: Just saying. Listen. Tomorrow when the alarm goes off, can you not hit the alarm for an hour? Can you just get up when the stupid music comes on? I’d like to sleep in and not be interrupted every ten minutes.

Me: Well, I’d like to sleep through a whole night without you waking up to go to the bathroom and disturbing me.

Self: I can’t help it.

Me: Well, neither can I.

Self: Heard of the movie “The Whale Rider?”

Me: Yeah. I read the book.

Self: Sit down. It’s about to start.

[Tonight, 7:30pm]

Me: Hey, I’m home.

Self: Took you long enough. Where were you?

Me: Getting my nails done at George’s.

[pause. Self takes a long hard look at Me.]
Day 2, note bobby pin and ponytail

Self: Rough day?

Me: Not especially. Why?

Self: Bobby pins, pony tail. What gives? Didn’t you have a fantastic haircut yesterday?

Me: Yeah. Turns out your little advice about sleeping on a new haircut doesn’t hold water. I looked like shit this morning and it was too late to take a shower because I’d been banking on your advice.

Self: So you went to school like that? Jesus. I hope you wore deodorant.

Me: Of course I did!

Self: Well it doesn’t look like it. At least your nails look good now.
Me: I was just listening to your wisdom, for crying out loud! Thought you’d gotten it from a reputable source.

Self:  Actually, I didn’t get it from anywhere. I made it up. Thought it sounded pretty good.

Me: You’re an asshole. I’m never listening to you again.

Self: I’m an asshole? Who’s the one who took advice from an alter-ego about not showering in the morning?

[pause. readjusting hair into tighter ponytail.]

Me: Well, you’re still an asshole.

Self:  That is clearly not my problem. [pause] So you gonna shower tomorrow? You know, I’ve heard that if you shower within the first twenty-four hours of getting your nails done, they’ll fall off. I’d hate for you to look like you do and have no nails.




20 responses

24 10 2007

You looked fine, don’t worry. A little meaner, but nothing other than that.
And don’t listen to Self. Please shower. I have Shakespeare Club with you tomorrow (I hope. Is it not gonna happen AGAIN?) and I’d hate to have to tell you you stink. Your nails won’t fall off. Well I don’t think so…


24 10 2007

And I LIKED the blonde (okay, one thing I never know. Is it blond or blonde?) hair, you shouldn’t have destroyed it. You’re so evil.


24 10 2007

Internet, would you look at how this student talks to me? Would you EVER call your teacher “evil” to her face? Do you see what I have to deal with on a daily basis?

24 10 2007

Both of you are hilarious!! Anyway I think that your hair looks better darker. Not that it dident look good before… Its nice.I just looked through the magazine and you totally look like that girl with dark hair!!!

24 10 2007

Another question:

Does Dennis even like or likes dark hair?

24 10 2007

Well, Luana, it shouldn’t matter what Dennis likes. Because in my world, and in the world of Self, all that matters is what we like. So regardless if Dennis likes dark hair, which I suppose he does since he has it and I do too, I like dark hair and that’s the end of that. And wouldn’t it be really weird if I were blonde?

24 10 2007

Internet, would you look at how my ex-ENGLISH teacher doesn’t pay attention to my spelling question? Or my question about SHAKESPEARE Club? Now I’ll have to grow up not knowing if it’s blonde or blond or if I’m having Shakespeare Club on 10/24/2007, and I’ll never get into college and I’ll end up dying poor and dumb and it’ll all be her fault. See why I call her evil? She deserves it, and she knows it too.
Now I gotta go, Internet, because people are talking to me on MSN. Which is very, very weird, because nobody ever wants to talk to me because they know that I (unlike OTHER people) correct their spelling and grammar mistakes.


24 10 2007

(I don’t know, Internet, should I call Sofy’s attention to the fact that in a subsequent comment I actually used the word “blonde”?)

24 10 2007

Oh, Internet, should I call Cogg’s attention to the fact that she wrote that comment while I was writing mine and surprisingly, I don’t check her blog every second? And also to the fact that she STILL hasn’t answered my other question? And to the fact that it’s the dorkiest thing in the world to be talking to “Internet” when we’re actually just talking to each other?


24 10 2007

Miss C! I cant believe that you talk with yourself! I’m crying because I’m laughing so bad! Actually, Self is right, you shall wait for washing your hair after “dieing” it. But dont take too long, cus i dont wanna see my favorite teacher with no hair… just kidding, it wont fall as your nails will… huauhahua
I know i’m crazy, but i luv ya anyway! oh, take a look at my blog inspired by you!


PS: Dont kill me bout my English!

24 10 2007

Ms.C dont die your hair blonde it would be really weird !!!
Tomorrow when you get in class look at the board, if the maids dident erase it…….. you are going to kill me and Bill!!!and if you notice, on the right part I wrote with red and he wrote with blue….. I mean he corrected what I wrote in blue!!!he corrected almost everything but letter witch was suppose to mean handwriting. Anyway you will see it all tomorrow!!

24 10 2007

This is for Miss C and Sofy:
You both are crazy! U use this page for MSN! huauahhua

24 10 2007

Lu, vc eh mto puxa saco! huauhauha

24 10 2007

Um, excuse me? I use this page for MSN? I’m crazy? Am I the only one seeing the thousands of non-answered-by-Cogg one-liner comments?

(Plus. The spelling mistakes? Many of them. MANY.)

And hey, that’s a really nice blog, Sofia. Very pretty.


25 10 2007

You look beautiful! (in both pictures)

25 10 2007

Great new hairdo! Wow, you must be getting SOOOOOO excited for tomorrow!!!

25 10 2007

Jennie & Catherine, thank you!! I’m getting very excited!!!

29 10 2007
Nilsa S.

Not sure about all these conversations you have with yourself, but … your hair looks great!

29 10 2007

(Yeah, I don’t know about all the conversations either, but….) Thanks!! It sure doesn’t look like that now. Just like I said, one hairwash later and it’s a giant mess.

28 10 2010
Pest Repeller :

i use a Revlon RV408 hair dryer for myself and i like it better than Conair,*.

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