I don’t know why, but all of a sudden, there are
Mexican “Mexican” restaurants popping up all over the place. We found one last night just around the corner from where I live. We ordered quesadillas “quesadilhas” (pronounced: “kay-sa-DEEL-yas.” Clue #1 that we were in for inauthentic cuisine.)
If you would like to taste what it was we had last night, here’s EXACTLY how to do it:
- -Get shredded orange Velveeta cheese. Put it inside of tortillas and fry. (The tortillas were basically the only authentic part. I think this restaurant, called Mexicano is the only place that has real tortillas in Brazil.)
- -Open a can of Cambell’s Tomato Soup. Heat it up and pour it into a bowl. Call that the “salsa.”
- -Cut up eleven onions and one cherry tomato. Mix together and put into a separate bowl. Call that the “pico de gallo.”
- -Squirt dijon mustard into a shot glass. Mix with water. Call that the “really spicey sauce.”
- -Don’t bother with sour cream.
- -Don’t bother with guacamole.
It’s as if the restauranteurs saw pictures of Mexican food in a magazine or on a 30-second commercial. And then they thought, “Hey! That looks kind of neat! Let’s open up a restaurant that serves Mexican food!” And then they remembered what they saw on the commercial and served food that looked similar.
Seriously. Cambell’s Tomato Soup. I was so creeped out by what was on the table in front of us, we ate the food out of obligation and left immediately. It could be I selected poorly from the menu, true. But I’m not willing to risk a second chance and end up getting Cambell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup instead of sour cream.