Voluntary writer’s block.

6 01 2008

I’m having a wee bit of trouble getting words down on this thing lately. Mostly it’s because I want so much to stay here. I am anticipating a very weepy trip back to Brazil this time, even though I’ll be back in a month. In any case, I am finding it hard to find words for my emotions these days but that’s a lie because I can absolutely find the words for my emotions: very very sad, reluctant to leave this winter comfort, infinitely empty at the thought of having my time with Dennis come to an end. We’ve had three solid months of uninterrupted time together. And in six days…? Alone again. Please forgive this uncharacteristic silence. I promise you, once I muddle through these days and all my feelings, I’ll be back again and ready to make fun of myself just like I did before. I’m just not in the mood these days. And if you’ve ever left a person you’re madly in love with, I know you understand.

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Also, play this game. It’s something I’ll surely be doing hours and hours each day once I get back to Campinas.

Woe. Is. Me.


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5 responses

7 01 2008
Jennie

Oh, Gina. It sucks and there’s no getting around it. I’m so sorry.

7 01 2008
Susan

Big hugs to you. Leaving the one you love madly is the hardest thing ever and honest to God there is No. Place. Like. Home.

7 01 2008
Nilsa S.

Heartache is never easy. I’ve dated long distance and know some of your pain. In some ways, these days of melancholy will make you stronger. And for now, at least you know just how much Dennis means to you, otherwise these feelings would not exist. Sip up your last days with loved ones and don’t worry about us silly readers. We’ll still be here upon your return!

7 01 2008
ginacoggio

Sniff, sniff. Thank you!

12 01 2008
frodo441

…I personally wouldn’t worry about ‘encapsulating the value of your personal experience’…perhaps a much needed “economy of means” would help in your effort to alleviate peer networks and future novitiates… also the value of your artistic enterprising desires to express yourself could be facilitated foremost by not (and I mean this pre-eminently) do-not castigate yourself…it is a reflexion on your self perception…while it might work in some endeavors to facilitate comedy at the cause of many years of disillusionment…and unnecessarily caste light on the quality of your personal relationships…remember:

After a while you learn the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul…
and you learn that company doesn’t mean security and kisses aren’t promises,
and you begin to learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much…
after awhile you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s futures are uncertain, and plan’s have a way of falling down in mid flight…
after awhile you learn to decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers…

and you learn that you really are strong
and you can endure
and you have self worth….

and you learn and you learn and you learn
with every good bye
you learn…

Be strong and take the world by the balls…

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