Self judges Me, yet again.

30 01 2008

Self: You again?

Me: Yeah. It’s always me.

Self: How was your day?

Me: Fine. Busy, actually. Yours?

Self: Not bad. Sat around. Read a book. The usual.

Me: Sounds nice. I ran around like crazy today. I feel overwhelmed.

Self: You do? Why?

Me: I don’t know. I feel like I have a lot of stuff going on, a lot of things on my mind, decisions to make and appointments to keep. I’m feeling a little stretched thin.

Self: You’ve never said that before. Not in Brazil, anyway. Living here is the least stressful thing you’ve ever done.

Me: I know, which is why I’m a little weirded out. I’m feeling pressure of some kind and I don’t know where it’s coming from or what it’s about.

Self: Weird.

Me: Maybe it’s because I’m traveling soon and I feel like I just got back from traveling.

Self: You’re traveling? Oh yeah! For Carnaval! Sweet! A little samba, a little sun, a little street party…Remember last year? Rio? SO much fun! Oh man! I’m wicked jealous!

Me: Yeah, no…no Rio this time.

Self: Oh no? Ouro Preto, then? Big party town! A little street dancing, a little more samba, a little desfilando…!

Me: Yeah, again, no. No Ouro Preto.

Self: Oh. Headed up to Bahia for the celebration? That’s the real true Carnaval, what I hear anyway.

Me: Nope.

Self: Sao Paulo at least?

Me: Uh-huh. Nope.

Self: (silence, thinking, glaring.) Are you even leaving Campinas?

Me: Yes. I told you I was traveling.

Self: So where are you going?

Me: The Pantanal.

Self: What’s that?

Me: A wetland.

Self: (pause.) So, what, is there like a huge party center there or something?

Me: No.

Self: What’s there?

Me: I don’t know. A bunch of birds and stuff. Alligators. Fish. Stuff like that.

Self: You’re kidding.

Me: No.

Self: You mean to tell me that for your last carnaval in Brazil you are going to go hang out with fish?

Me: Well, I mean, it’s not like I’m going specifically for fish….

Self: Yeah, but you’re going for fish.

Me: No, I’m not.

Self: Yes. You are. Rather than living it up in any of the major carnaval cities where you can stay up all night and wander the streets meeting any number of transvestites, get tan in the ridiculously hot sun on Copacabana Beach, and see fabulous costumes and street parties, you’re going to be in nature?

Me: Well, actually, yeah.

Self: Who ARE you?

Me: Well I did the Rio thing last year. I’ve never been to the Pantanal, I’ve heard a lot about it, I need to have a good chunk of time off to go visit because it’s far away, and I don’t really want to be around loads of people this year.

Self: What’s wrong with loads of people? It’s what makes Carnaval fun! This year you’re going to be surrounded by bugs and swamp and by the end of three days out there you’re going to be begging for something more exciting. Like yellow fever.

Me: I will not be begging for yellow fever, I assure you. (pause, thinking) But there’s nothing wrong with going to a wetland for Carnaval. And it’s not even “for” Carnaval. This is the world’s largest wetland and it’s the rainy season now, as you’ve been seeing for almost three solid weeks, and there’s sure to be amazing wildlife to see. Did you know they have pumas in the Pantanal? Did you know there are giant rat/beavers? Baby armadillos?! Birds galore?! I can go horseback riding! I can go walking for miles kilometers at a time and see things I’ve never seen before!!

Self: Right. And people? Will there be people there? Or are you just going to surround yourself with those rat/beavers for a week all alone and learn their language and join their family?

Me: No, jerkface. There’ll be other people there. I’m staying at a farm.

Self: A farm.

Me: Yeah. They have horses and stuff there. And hammocks. And a river. With piranha and jacare.

Self: Piranha? You mean the fish that chew you up if you’re bleeding and will kill you with their million tiny teeth?

Me: Those.

Self: You can swim with them?

Me: And with the jacare. Those are like alligators. Or crocodiles. I could never tell the difference.

Self: (silence)

Me: So? Pretty cool, huh?! Not such a bad idea now, is it? Not a bad alternative to crazy carnaval? You wish you could go, don’t you?

Self: (silence)

Me: Huh? Cool, right?

Self: You are such a dork.




9 responses

30 01 2008

It didn’t sound so bad when you just said Pantanal. I even handled it when you said there would be alligators there. I tolerated the baby armadillos (even though armadillos are weirdos) and the giant rats.

But swimming. With piranhas. And alligators.
I have nightmares about swimming with alligators.
They’re just not nice. They’ll drown you and then bury you in the sand in the bottom of the river so that they can eat you later with their alligator pals.
And piranhas. What if you cut your toe on a sharp rock or something? And there’s blood?

You seriously want to do that? Seriously? Because if you do, you obviously need professional help.

– Sofy

30 01 2008

ohhh goodness Self has returned. =)

31 01 2008

I think the trip sounds pretty cool…I can’t wait to hear all about it!

31 01 2008


Sounds like the movie the Princess Bride.
Are they R.O.U.S. “I don’t believe they exist.”

31 01 2008

Sounds like an awesome opportunity.

31 01 2008

I know! I’m really looking forward to it! I’ve heard such amazing things about it and some say it’s even better than the Amazon. Totally different, but way less touristy.
Oh, and the rat/beavers are called a “capibara,” and they’re the world’s largest rodent. So, actually, yes. I guess they are R.O.U.S’s.

6 02 2008

Miss.Coggio, I think your trip is so cool and I would certanly love to go there also, I’m just little concerned that you WANT to swim with crocidails….
NO average (as in not one of those record breaking freaks) person in the world wants that, but your certanly not an average person…


6 02 2008

It just occurred to me that i should have come down anyway and gone to the swamp with you! I love trudging around in muck and critters of all kinds (and, coincidently, am LOVED by critters of all kinds!) I could’ve practice jiu-jitzing with the jacare!
I would have even bought a big knife! big and shiny and way bigger than your guides knife!
Alas! All is clear in hindsight 😦

8 02 2008

Ha! Yeah, well, there’s always next year. The Pantanal’s not going anywhere. Or maybe it is….Global Warming, anyone?

(Talita, I just saw your comment. You’re right. I’m not an average person. But it takes one to know one, as they say.)

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