And just like the title, I have no reservations in giving my opinion: worthless. Absolutely worthless.
Anyone who has worked in any kind of restaurant knows that this film–about two chefs in a restaurant–knows that Catherine Zeta Jones and whoever that other guy is are the two most unrealistic representations of chefs. My brother is a chef and I have worked for any number of chefs in restaurants from the little tiny catering companies in Vermont, to bars in Boston, to one of the best restaurants in New Haven. And I can tell you, with no reservations, that chefs are some of the most highly stressed, agitated people I know because they are perfectionists both in the kitchen and in their personal lives. CZJ and that other guy are much, much too calm to portray real chefs. Kitchens are loud and crazy places and there’s no scene in the movie that even remotely suggests loud and crazy. It’s all peaceful and calm. Even CZJ’s voice is too calm. Why I am watching this right now is just a matter of principle: it was recommended that I watch this and still, an hour and thirty-four minutes in, I still haven’t learned or seen a thing that has made me grow as a person. It’s one cliche after another and I’m just gagging one minute after the next. I’m sitting here thinking, looking hopefully at the screen, “Ooh! Is it over now? Is this the end? Please?”
Nope. No, it’s not.
Oh, thank god. The credits.
This is my Saturday afternoon.