F.Y.I: Drink water to avoid fat feet.

12 02 2008

Besides learning about Dante Aligheiri in preparation for teaching my students, one other very important thing I learned was that I have fat feet. The woman doing my pedicure said it just like that: “You have fat feet.”

I think my feet are rather cute, actually, feeling a special pride for the size of my toes, how they decrease in size from my big toe, without one freakishly long toe that sticks out from all the rest.

“You have fat feet,” she said, leaving me to sit and wonder where the hell she was going with that kind of statement. Turns out she was concerned about my water intake, or more accurately, my lack of water intake. Did you know you can get fat feet by not drinking enough water? I tried to come up with some kind of explanation: “I’m on my feet all day,” or “It’s the humidity,” or “I’m ovulating.” All lies anyway, but nevertheless, I tried my best to give reason for my fat feet (which I didn’t think were fat to begin with.) “You’re eating salty foods,” she told me, looking at the the top of my foot as if she were reading Tarot cards. I suddenly felt invaded; Who was she to tell me what I’m eating? Who was she to be critical of my feet and my diet about both of which she knew nothing! I thought of my lunch today: rice and beans, beets, a cup of lime mousse, and water. Where was the crazy salt that was making my feet fat? It was just about the plainest meal I could have eaten today. And then it hit me: lay off the salted popcorn.  That’s the only place I ever have salt in my food, but God knows I eat a whole lotta popcorn.

I was going to include a picture here of my fat feet, but when I took the pictures I didn’t think my feet looked fat enough. To me they were just really cute. I guess I have really high foot-esteem. And no one, not popcorn–not even–a pedicurist, can take that away from me.

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14 responses

13 02 2008
Susan

Hold those feet high. I love my feet and the fact that I can wear nearly any style of shoe I want to wear. They are highly ticklish so I avoid pedicures and the opinionated little foreign women who give them. No offense but why can’t there be one nail place in America that contains Americans?
I am also proud that my toes are as you say the Big toe and the little toes fall in sequence without having that one second toe that’s grossly longer.

13 02 2008
Alvy

If it were the pedicurist that said that, it’s probably not true… How would water solve that problem? Feet don’t just decide to inflate because of the lack of water… It’s just not right… I’m really confused and if anyone can explain that to me… please do.

I think your feet are fine! It totally goes with the rest of you! They’re totally cute… tell the pedicurist to lay off the boos. Oh… and never, EVER take a picture of your feet… half your fans won’t like it. Utada Hikaru (Japanese singer, the best one in the planet… Japanese music or not. For anyone who doesn’t know it) took a picture of her feet for this album of hers, “Deep River” and all her fans were completely shocked… Well, not me, and really, that’s what matters.

So now, you just have to tell your pedicurist to “Parar de beber, sua doida!” and to convince yourself that your cute feet are very… well… normal…y…Ok, this just seems to weird… never thought I would be complimenting my teacher’s feet.

25 09 2010
J.J

Actually, it makes perfect sense. It’s not fat feet. It’s SWOLLEN feet. Have you ever heard of bloating? Lack of water causes water retention.

13 02 2008
ginacoggio

Alvy, you are TOO funny. This was hilarious. My mom is going to crack up.

13 02 2008
Tina (aka Mom)

You got THAT right….

17 07 2009
Kate

First off, this is old, but I don’t care.

Second, that lady shouldn’t have said that, because it’s none of her business! Yay for feeling self confident about whatever part of your body!

Third, hey, Susan, thanks for assuming that it was someone foreign doing the pedicure. Thanks for setting all other Americans back a thousand years and being a racist thinking that only foreign people do pedicures. I happen to be of foreign decent (adopted) and had a Caucasian lady do my mani/pedi the other day. There are plenty out there, just open your eyes and stop being ignorant.

24 03 2016
Jay Herbert

ok, 1 in 100 ain’t bad. Grow up and live with it.

10 08 2009
awwr

omg i have fat feet too i hate it i cold never fit in beautiful shoes i love to wear high heels but i could never fit in them at all ughh i hate it soooo much

22 01 2011
Jewels

Actually the lady was right. I suffer from the same conditions. My doctor had been telling me the same thing and I wouldn’t listen, until I couldn’t get into my cute shoes anymore. I decided one day to try “No Salt” on my food and drink plenty of water. I loved salt and hot sauce on popcorn since I was a child. Well I tried no salt at all or the “No Salt” and the swelling and the difference was significant. I think my feet are cute too but I’m realistic. The lady gave you good advice to help you, so have an open mind and receive that blessing. LOL! I always ask the person doing my feet, what did you tell your friend in your language about my feet. She said the same as yours, you have fat feet. I’ll share this with you, their 3 ballerina tea cleans your system and it helps to lose weight. If someone gives me advice to better myself then I’m appreciative. Be Blessed!!

21 05 2012
Angelisa

Hi I have chubby feet too every one says there
Cute but I don’t think so they make me feel fat
But I’m actually not… I’m ashamed to
Wear my sandles so instead of nice
Beautiful sandles in the summer I wear a
Pair of hot sneakers can u just tell me if u know
How to lose weight on your feet Plz! 😦 🙂

7 01 2013
manggamanggis

I have fat feet too & i really hope to get rid it since almost all people making joke at them & saying they look like a soccer player’s feet.
I really like salted peanuts, i guess that make my feet swolen & at night sometimes they’re numb
I do excercises to get rid fat but only gave less effect. Please, give me advice to get rid fat on them.
i’m not too confortable wearing skirts with that big feet 😦

29 09 2013
www.ihelpgadget.com

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1 07 2014
Haha

Was the pedicurist Asian? If she was, maybe she wasn’t trying to be critical but just to help you. In some Asian cultures it’s fine to tell people they’re fat, too.

17 04 2015
Janice

This may sound weird, but I am always so envious of the women that can see the bone structure and/or veins at the top of their feet. I don’t know if I could ever see that…maybe when I was a kid. Anyway, purchasing shoes is very depressing. I have to get shoes that have a long enough tongue to cover the fat bubble that appears when I put shoes on. Any shoe that either does not have a tongue or one that is not long enough cause my feet to look swollen and painful or just too small…none of which are true I just have a big fat puffy thing on the top of my feet and wearing shoes without a tongue makes my feet look worse. Helllllp!!

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