That’s it.

18 06 2008

Today was the very last day of school. I saw just a few of my kids this morning before I went to the bank, where I stayed for close to three hours, and when I came back all the faculty were eating lunch together at the annual end-of-year farewell party where the superintendent says a fond farewell to the teachers who are leaving. I gave a tiny speech, something about finding my place in the world, and thanked everyone for showing me such friendship over my two years here.

The afternoon was supposed to be work, but instead it was a long meeting. Go figure. Tomorrow I have to go back to school to wrap up all of my business with the school and then it’s off to Sao Paulo for a final Starbucks adventure. Friday is back to banking business and, if all goes well, Saturday I head home. (Or as my porteiro Marco puts it, “Gina for home.”)

Looking at my plans in that above paragraph is kind of sad for me. There’s so much bureaucratic nonsense, so much running around, so much signing my name and getting things authorized and packing things up that I’m not even able to be in the moment. When one of my boys, who nicknamed himself The Butterfly, said goodbye to me today, I barely realized that it would be the last time I’d see him. It was as today were a Friday and it will be just a weekend separating us. But that’s not the case, and it wasn’t until I was walking up the hill toward the main gates of the school, and realized how quiet it was, how beautiful and silent and lacking all my little kids that I hung my head and let the tears come out.

I said good bye, also, to one of my best friends here while I was standing in the business office discussing a phone bill. That’s not the way it should be! And while I know I’ll see her again, it’s just not the way goodbyes should work. You don’t say goodbye to two years while trying to figure out whether or not the automatic debit has gone through or not. 

I want these last days to be calm ones where I can take in the scenery and say my goodbyes the proper way. But they’re slowly leaving, all the ones I really care about, and I’m afraid these goodbyes weren’t sincere. Not the way I wanted them to be. But then, if it were up to me, there would be no goodbyes and all these people, little and big, would come with me no matter where I go. 

I took down my final piece of art from the walls just now. It’s a palm frond that Dennis found on the street and painted. We argued over whether or not it should go on a wall because it came off of the street and I wasn’t about to have urban detritus on my walls. But it went up sometime last May, and it’s stayed up until today. And now it’ll come home with me and go somewhere else on some other wall in our new home. My bags are spread out on the dining room floor, slowly filling and bulging with books and towels and scarves.

That’s it, folks. Bare walls, hollow goodbyes, and my two years wrapped up in a few bags. Parting is such sweet sorrow.




8 responses

18 06 2008

Dear Ms.C i dont know if you have read my and leos card and for my present i bought it and i left it at the portaria of the school and if you could get it over there beacause it means alot to me that you get my present and i never wanted you to go and since you will go i hust want you to know that you can always send me an email ( is my email) and i want you to but the most important thing that i wanted to say is that i will always remeber you. And one more thing i hope you never forget me and all the 7th grade and 8th grade and i dont know if you know but i passed the year so ms.c i will miss you since the beggiing(Just kiding) and i hope self is wrong! oh and ps i hope you send me your new email from over there!!!

19 06 2008

Awww this made me tear up. Then I read Victor’s comment and that made me cry. The kids love you so much!

19 06 2008

I was at Scout’s school on Tuesday for their last day and his teacher was so emotional she was in tears. And she’ll be back in the Fall! It sounds like you’re so bogged down in the ‘technical’ part of leaving that you’re not acknowledging the ’emotional’ part.

Urban detritus to priceless piece of art. Trash to treasure.

Safe trip.

19 06 2008

So ms.c i hope you get your present and have a safe trip and when i finished reading your lasts post i cried beacause i will miss you so much

19 06 2008

Yes, Victor, Thank you for the gifts. They were very thoughtful!! And a big surprise to receive once I got to school! Thank you!!

19 06 2008

your welcome ms.c and the card was that one that me and leo wrote for you okay?

19 06 2008

Oh, I know! It was a very nice card. I liked the way you two wrote it!

19 06 2008

You nailed it – hollow. That’s exactly how I felt the other week as I packed up my condo. My first big adult purchase (next to a car). My home for the last 5 years. I think the change for you will be more jarring than it was for me, but saying goodbye is so bittersweet. Enjoy your last few days south of the Equator!

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