I should have known it wasn’t going to be easy, that this last day would not be the blissful day of silent reflection I’d had planned, and to tell you the truth the quote that keeps running through my mind is, “You make plans, and God laughs.” Because oh, if you were only in my shoes today, you’d be thinking the same thing.
Did you realize that there was some kind of huge miscommunication and MY TICKET HOME had not been purchased? Did you realize that I thought maybe I’d go ahead and confirm MY TICKET HOME today with the travel agent around noon and, when the silence on the other end of the phone became unbearable, the panic came up from my stomach, wrapped its fiery self around my neck and nearly strangled me until my eyes bulged to the size of avocados? The past days have been so full of overcoming stresses, finalizing endless details, signing my name to any number of official documents only to find out that I will need these documents in order to get some other document which is unavailable until the Friday after Halloween. I am drained. Absolutely drained. The driver will be here in two hours and I have no idea what to do with myself between now and then. I kind of want to nap, I kind of want to stay awake, but I definitely want to make sure I am on that plane. I imagine sitting down and passing out. I think my seat is even all the way at the back and it might even be in the middle of the middle. But all that is fine with me because as long as I’m on it, that’s all that matters.
How I wanted this day to be different. But that’s the way these things work.
On the home front, things are a little more up in the air. As we know, my mom’s hospitalization began this week, but things have taken a turn for the different. Rather than the Interluken-2 treatment we had been hoping for, it looks as if she’s going to be getting a round of chemotherapy, something we weren’t wanting at all. In a couple of hours from now, she’ll be receiving this treatment and it won’t be an easy time for her. Please make sure you are thinking good things today for her, and if you believe in any higher power, make it so that that higher power places its hands upon my mom and gives her peace through the hard times.
Talking to her is so wonderful. It’s so nice to hear her voice, and to feel genuinely happy to talk with her. She sounds tired and weak, though she sounds much better now than she did a week or so ago, and we are all so happy that she is in the best loving hands of the doctors and nurses at Dartmouth-Hitchcock. She feels safe there, I feel better knowing she is there, and I can’t wait to see her again. There’s a lot to come home to.
So again, please, find one moment today and send your thoughts up to my mom. Or find many moments.