A few words only.

26 06 2008

I hope to sit down one day soon and write about what it’s like to come home to a place like this at a time like this. My mom came home yesterday from the hospital, and it felt very strange to see her. Hard to see her body sunken, her skin once so firm and glowing now hanging from her bones. Her eyes are deeper, darker, wider. Her back bent forward, her steps small, her voice tired. It isn’t easy to see my mom like this. She stood so tall and strong, a granite pillar, a statue of determination and force. In truth I am afraid for what’s to come and I am afraid to hear my mother speak so truthfully about what she thinks is to come. It is not an easy time. But we manage. Because we have to. Because we have no other choice.

Today our day is one of rest and fresh fruit. it is a day of chores for me, bustling around the home trying to make it what it once was: clean, organized, fully stocked. It is a day of smoothies and sweeping. A day where five of us in this house move about each other with care. Today is a day where the little things count: waking up early, talking over coffee, reading cards, talking about plans. Dennis asks if I want a bagel, but before he asks me he asks my step-father. Twice. I cry at that kindness. We agree to having bagels while my mom is in the back room sleeping. The four of us out here together, where we wouldn’t be if things were “normal.” This is how we manage because we have to because we have no other choice.

Only a few words today. They haven’t come easily.

 

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12 responses

26 06 2008
Jennie

Oh, Gina. My heart hurts for you.

26 06 2008
ladybughugs

Stay strong. and consider yourself hugged. (I hope that doesn’t sound creepy.)

26 06 2008
rosalicious

Hang in there, and know that you being there is exactly the best thing you can do.

26 06 2008
Nilsa

Awww, cutie. No child should have to care for a parent. Ever. But the reality is we all do at one point or another. Certainly doesn’t make it any easier on us. Especially when we still feel like a child in so many ways. Hang in there. From reading Team Tina, I know your mom is stronger because you’re in her life.

26 06 2008
Jake

Hugs and warm thoughts =)

26 06 2008
marissa

Even when the words don’t come easily they still come. She is in so many of our thoughts. Take comfort in the quiet support you generate with your writing.

26 06 2008
Alvy

Aw, Baby C… Think positively! Don’t be sad! It hurts everyone, for you’re so jolly and bubbly always! Remember that everyone here is rooting for you, and no matter what, we’re by your side and your mom’s as well! I love you two!

26 06 2008
Joyce

You are all on my mind. You are the best medicine.

27 06 2008
luanaspider

Ms.C,

There are always hard times and I’m sure your going to survive trough it strongly. Things are going to get better. Think positive, we are all cheering for you.

27 06 2008
Susan

GIna its not fair to tell you this made my heart ache and that tears welled up in my eyes for you. So many things about the entire situation is unfair. I think our parents raise us into wonderful people so that one day we can be their pillars of strength and care. You are your mothers pillar now. And to some extent Dennis has become your pillar of strength. Hope that makes sense. It really did in my head. I just wanna give you a huge hug!

27 06 2008
ginacoggio

Susan, that makes perfect sense…
And to all of you, thank you so much for your kindness. It definitely helps to read your supportive words.

29 06 2008
Jen

Sorry to hear you’re going though such a tough time. Thinking of you.

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